I am taking a break from my Still working on that post, because I really needed to get this off of my chest. I really hope that you will share your thoughts with me on this, as I am truly confused and feeling a bit anxious at times. I have never felt so alone in my entire life. I really didn’t think it was possible to feel this way actually. I want to scream so loudly, but I can’t. So, I just sit in silence and pretend everything is okay.
As you may already know the Coronavirus is here. Despite everything that the experts are saying, the bottom line is they really don’t know how it is transmitted or how many people already have it. This is something that we all must deal with and I am praying for everyone. Please keep us in your prayers as well. I keep hearing that it’s not a big deal and if you’re healthy and have no underlying medical issues you should be okay. You might get a little sick but basically that’s it. Don’t panic, everything will be alright. What does this mean for people who do have underlying health issues? A possible death sentence? It is not a guarantee that you will die, but there is a higher chance.
Question: Would you ever gamble with your child’s life? Is there ever such a thing as being OVERLY cautious? I don’t think so, especially when your child already has existing medical issues. Respiratory issues that she has been hospitalized for several times. Issues that almost took her from us. How can I not be OVERLY cautious and concerned? I am not wanting to offend anyone, by saying no to gatherings. I don’t want to make anyone angry by my request to wash your hands, or stand a few feet away when we speak. I don’t want to feel guilty for asking you to please not touch or kiss my daughter. No one should make me feel like I am the bad guy during this time, should they? Or am I overreacting? I have questioned myself over and over again.
If you have read my other post’s, you know that I am on a journey to understand why I am who I am. What makes us see things the way we do, why we feel so much. I want to be accepted all the time, and when I’m not, I always feel it is my fault. I end up apologizing for things that I shouldn’t have to apologize for. Here I am again, feeling alone when I would love for someone to call and ask what SHE might need during this time. Wanting someone to understand how stressful it is to know her life is in my hands. Yes, I am a woman of faith. I believe that god does protect us, by giving us the resources we have, to do what we need to do. He gives us insight and guidance in the things that must be done. Every night I give him thanks for leading us in the way that he does. I have faith. Having faith does not always exempt you from feeling alone, feeling overwhelmed. It brings me back to solid ground no doubt, but every now and then I feel as if I am standing on quicksand, screaming and no one hears me. Then someone ask me how I am, I smile and say,”Great, how are you?” When inside I am dying and I can’t share it with anyone because I am ridiculed for my feelings.
I guess, I just want to know if I am being irrational? Maybe I want confirmation that I am right. I don’t know, just be honest. If there is someone out there that you know that is dealing with a special needs child, or and elderly relative, please reach out to them. Respect their feelings, and support them. It is very important to encourage and support others. I know, because I know that I would love that right now. Much love to you all and stay safe.
Still working on that 